Are you a fat bastard?
  Fatty homestead | About Page | Fatty Towers | Fatty Towers II | How to be a fat bastard. | Top Fat Links | My Guests | Get 'old of me  

I know you are all wondering if you are a fat bastard, but don't fret, do the survey below to find out

What is your favourite food?

a) Pie and Chips.
b) Pie, Chips, Chips, Chips and Gravy (in a bucket)
c) Salad.

Who do you most admire?

a) Winston Churchill, A true leader.
b) Rick from "Pop Idol", A true fatty.
c) Mr Motivator, Looks great in lycra.

Have you ever had a sexual partner?

a) Yes, well I have bit of free time.
b) No, I'd rather watch Star Trek/Buffy/X Files.
c) I have a harem of women queuing up.

How often do you use the 'net?

a) When I have a few moments, its a laugh.
b) I am thinking of changing my name to "AOL".
c) First time, and will never use it again.

Can you pinch more than an inch?

a) Yes, but I feel ok with it.
b) My fingers are too fat to grip.
c) No, but if I did I would be at the gym 24/7.

How often do you exercise?

a) Occasionaly.
b) I drive to the bathroom.
c) I do the marathon every evening.

Have you ever been called fat?

a) Yes, but I have put a few pounds on recently.
b) My Mum and Dad, every night...sob, sob.
c) Never.

Where do you buy your clothes?

a) High street.
b) My mum makes dresses from old duvet covers.
c) Armani, Versace, etc.

Answers...

Mostly A's

Good work fella, You are Mr/Ms average, you have plenty of friends, a bit chubby but nothing to worry about...take a Topic bar, a pint, sit down a watch the telly...good on ya!

Mostly B's

Sorry Chubby, You are one fat mother. No one likes you, you masterbate to pictures on the net, and even your dog wishes you were dead...but don't fret, just get yourself a treadmill (but send the photo's to me.)

Mostly C's

The world hates you, you are obviously a ponce with no real friends, your job is shite and you try to make yourself look good to feel important...Take a packet of lard and fry up some pork scratchings... you never know you might sometime be liked